January 24
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COMMANDS FOR CHILDREN AND PARENTS
Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 HONOR YOUR FATHER AND MOTHER (which is the first commandment with a promise), 3 SO THAT IT MAY TURN OUT WELL FOR YOU, AND THAT YOU MAY LIVE LONG ON THE EARTH.4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. – Ephesians 6:1-4
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In the first four verses of the sixth chapter of Paul’s letter to the Ephesians, he gives the instructions for parents and children. Obedience is expected from children to give to their parents and in turn, their lives will go well and that they may have long lives. There is a counterpart command for the fathers in letter, but I am sure that the mother is also expected to follow this instruction. In the previous chapter, we hear Paul giving the instruction for the husbands who head their wives. So, the fathers are to take lead in bringing up their children and the wife is the helper. According to a commentary, the command is simple but this not only means that children have the responsibility to obey, but parents have the responsibility to teach their children obedience – one of the most important jobs for a parent. Since our inherent nature is already disobedient, it is imperative for parents to discipline and rear up their children in obedience. Disobedience comes along with consequences and the parents ought to teach them to be responsible for their disobedience and face such consequences. When Paul says that this is the first commandment with a promise, he is referring to Deuteronomy 5:16, where God promised to bless the obedient child.
Fathers are cautioned to raise their children without aggravating them into anger but to raise them and teach them God’s laws. Lloyd-Jones comments “When you are disciplining a child, you should have first controlled yourself… What right have you to say to your child that he needs discipline when you obviously need it yourself?” To bring up a child in training is not just scolding them but encouragement and correction must be combined with teaching and discipline. I had a father who raised me solely on scolding and pushing me to achieve but I was never taught and encouraged or shown affection or given attention only if I perform well. It drove me to anger because all I can remember are those times I was punished. I can’t remember being taught or told consequences if I don’t obey. I just got the consequence without the clear-cut boundaries set. It wounded me badly and I am still suffering those painful unloving and punitive acts until now.
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REFLECTION
• Why is teaching and disciplining children be coupled with encouragement as well?